Are You Afraid of the Dark? : The Tale of the Laser Maze

The intro to this show is still genuinely creepy (damn clown doll). The Tale of the Laser Maze is one of Tucker’s stories. I don’t remember the later episodes where Tucker took over the midnight society as much as the earlier stuff. The story starts with two girls, Ashley and Cara, fighting in a Tae Kwon Do match. Turns out they’re sisters and they don’t have a very good win/lose dynamic after their match and the teacher tells them to get along. After class a weirdo named Drake approaches them and tells them that the match was awesome and he thinks they’d make great players for his companies new game that’s only for the “best of the best”, the Laser Maze.After arriving at the arena, they ask where everyone else is and find out that it’s just them. Seems pretty fishy. The Laser Maze is like laser tag, but they shoot the lasers from they’re goggles and aim by looking. This actually sounds pretty awesome if you ask me. Ashley scores the first point, quickly followed by a point for Cara. Drake is shown monitoring them from some room, taking note of things like they’re accuracy and agility. Ashley scores again but Cara ties the game while Ashley gets distracted by a wall….cuz walls be trippin’ I guess. Cara wins and Ashley explodes into laser lights or something. Drake takes Cara to fill out papers (read: cartoonishly huge pile of papers) and she asks where Ashley is but Drake hurries off saying don’t worry about it. She ignores the survey and goes exploring, finding his monitoring room that has them labeled as Alpha and Beta units. Ashley reappears right on cue but something is wrong with her. Ashley starts slinging the shit talk which gets Cara to play another round. HOLY SHIT SHE JUST BLEW ASHLEY’S HEAD OFF! Can’t say I was expecting that. I will once again state that I don’t know a lot of these episodes terribly well and it’s been years since I’ve watched them. I was genuinely caught off guard by this.

Time out during the commercial break. I love the weird horror trailer versions of 90s Nick shows that they’ve been showing this week on The Splat. Some of them are actually pretty twisted which is what makes them so cool. Not all of the new Splat bumpers are hits for me, but these are some of the better ones.

We see that Ashley was replaced? turned into? a robot and Drake is displeased at her being defective. Like five more Ashleys show up and Cara gets blasted away. She ends up in a white room in some kind of chamber and finds Ashley in a nearby chamber. They’re both basically being photocopied (think human 3-D printers) by Drake. Drake is also kind of dickish to said robo-clones. Laser Maze is the most popular game where he’s from but he says his people suck at it so he had to recruit the two girls to show them what for. A battle damaged Ashley shows up through the portal and, in a male voice, tells Drake his beta units are inferior and he’s being sent to pay for it. Cara suggests sending the real them to play the game because real is better than clones. He goes along with this because he’s too terrified to play against whoever is threatening him. They turn against him and Tae Kwon kick him through the portal and then beat down a left over clone. Drake shows up in the Laser Maze arena to fight them and then gives a thumbs up to the camera and says “super.” Really odd fourth wall breaking moment. Unarmed, Ashley distracts him while Cara gets some goggles. Ashley suddenly has goggles now too (I may have missed something) and they team up to deliver the third and final (Mario boss rules) blow to Drake and find out he was a robot too. They make up for the fight from the beginning of the story and Ashley thanks her sister for saving her. The End.

Overall I liked this episode. It wasn’t at all scary but it definitely had some good mystery to it. We never actually find out where Drake is from or who he’s working for. I like that it’s open-ended. Is he from another planet? Another dimension? You’re just left to come up with your own ideas. The ending was alright with the sisters predictably making up and respecting each other. I guess they just left the arena afterwards. The Drake bot was destroyed but nothing really got stopped so who knows if these mystery people will continue their experiments or not. We’ll just never know. This was a fun watch, I’m so far loving The Splat. That’s all for now, see you again in a half hour for the second episode of the night.


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